I, being mixed in a white society, have had my fair share of brown/black questions and situations. Before I can even remember- my older cousin Liz (one of my favorites) asked my Nana, while rubbing my face, why I was dirty. Precious! right?
Fast forward until 2014 and hilarious racial moments from the children I have interacted with over the past few months have become more and more hilarious and more and more mind opening.
A few Sundays ago at church, I went with a friend to her kindergarten Sunday school class. Seeing all the sassy 5 year olds in their casual Sunday best was too cute, but every kid that walked in was white--(which isn't uncommon despite the church being diverse, and open to all in the south black and white churches still exist, and not on the racist level, yet on a tradition and worship level) --Until Daylysia walked in- the cutest little black girl. She was very social and open from the moment she walked in and it was her first Sunday. --Now it is said that we are attracted to others like us. That's how we pick friends and significant others- we tend to have things in common. But as children looks is what we tend to gravitate too. That's why girls are only friends with girls and boys with boys in early grade school. --So when all of the Sunday school went in the hub (the main room for group youth worship) Daylaysia came to sit right next to me! "Your hair is like my Mommy's" she said as she reached up to touch my natural untamed hair. "Oh is it?" "Mhmmm, she is darker than you though!" Now Daylaysia wasn't this talkative and open to any other Sunday school teacher. I wasn't this child whisper who is super nice and cool, I was the ONLY person who looked like the people she is with daily and trust. Now I'm not saying she doesn't trust white people or that she purposely talked less to the white adults-so don't read into it. It is the same for many children who are afraid to approach someone of the opposite gender and race. It is a whole 'nother concept that their brains cannot understand, so sticking to what they do know is common. ---Mommy is loving, awesome, caring, and white... so in unfamiliar situations that child will most likely go to a white woman rather than a male or a black woman. Again, please do not twist my words and realize that with every child like Daylaysia who feel comfortable and safe with those who look like them. There are the curious kids who wants to talk to everyone who looks different than them. In many pre-k through first grade classes "Whys?" Are asked from one student from another. Why do you have to wear that? Why is your hair like that? Why can't you go swimming? Why do speak funny? Why can't you eat that? Why? Why? Why? The curiosity and intrigue create a desire to be open and honest without being PC.
A few Sundays ago at church, I went with a friend to her kindergarten Sunday school class. Seeing all the sassy 5 year olds in their casual Sunday best was too cute, but every kid that walked in was white--(which isn't uncommon despite the church being diverse, and open to all in the south black and white churches still exist, and not on the racist level, yet on a tradition and worship level) --Until Daylysia walked in- the cutest little black girl. She was very social and open from the moment she walked in and it was her first Sunday. --Now it is said that we are attracted to others like us. That's how we pick friends and significant others- we tend to have things in common. But as children looks is what we tend to gravitate too. That's why girls are only friends with girls and boys with boys in early grade school. --So when all of the Sunday school went in the hub (the main room for group youth worship) Daylaysia came to sit right next to me! "Your hair is like my Mommy's" she said as she reached up to touch my natural untamed hair. "Oh is it?" "Mhmmm, she is darker than you though!" Now Daylaysia wasn't this talkative and open to any other Sunday school teacher. I wasn't this child whisper who is super nice and cool, I was the ONLY person who looked like the people she is with daily and trust. Now I'm not saying she doesn't trust white people or that she purposely talked less to the white adults-so don't read into it. It is the same for many children who are afraid to approach someone of the opposite gender and race. It is a whole 'nother concept that their brains cannot understand, so sticking to what they do know is common. ---Mommy is loving, awesome, caring, and white... so in unfamiliar situations that child will most likely go to a white woman rather than a male or a black woman. Again, please do not twist my words and realize that with every child like Daylaysia who feel comfortable and safe with those who look like them. There are the curious kids who wants to talk to everyone who looks different than them. In many pre-k through first grade classes "Whys?" Are asked from one student from another. Why do you have to wear that? Why is your hair like that? Why can't you go swimming? Why do speak funny? Why can't you eat that? Why? Why? Why? The curiosity and intrigue create a desire to be open and honest without being PC.
A few weeks ago I babysat these 2 little girls, 5 (Ahslynn) and 2 (Kallie),who where white- and the 5 year old wanted 1 thing more than anything in the world. A black baby! Considering both of her parents are white- adoption is going to be the only way she can get a black baby anytime soon or mom has some splainin' to do (mom and dad are starting to foster so her wish may come true). I took them to stake `n shake for dinner and we were set by a black family with a black baby. She couldn't stop staring at the baby. She turns to me and says, " you know I really won't mind if my family didn't match" good! It is 2014 gosh darn it and matching families are becoming a bit of a thing from the past. But living in the south people are still against it. If this 5 year old can fully be okay with having an unconventional family then why can't everyone else? I found the entire desire to have a black baby to be extremely cute and funny.
Well yesterday while babysitting 4 kids under the age of 7---I know I am a brave woman. Lucy, 4, told me about how excited she was for kindergarten and how she already knew what teacher she would have. "I'm going to have to same one as Oksanna...(her big sister)...Mrs. Bell." I asked her if she was excited, and she said no because she likes her teachers now and didn't want to leave them ---awh! I know. "Mrs. Bell is brown... Oksanna doesn't like brown people" a short pause. "Hey Oksanna, Miss Porshia is brown you like her right?" and without missing a beat, Oksanna says "Miss Porshia is Mixed, Mixed means tan!!!"
Side note: she know I am mixed because I have my cute little white cousin as my wallpaper on my phone, and I had to explain why I had a white cousin. I couldn't help but chuckle and at the same time be concerned. But it isn't my place to have a deep conversation about race with a 6 year old.
I love that kids have no filters and have the window of opportunity to be completely honest and not get shammed by it. I love that they don't understand that their words can be hurtful, therefore saying things that we need to hear. They prove that they are what we want to be. Children take in what is around them and release what is interpreted. Working with children, I know I am going to have many of 'too good to be made up' moments. I'm okay with being a tad bit offended or overly amused by someone who is 3 times younger than me. Now once they cute kids become pre-teens- make sure they have filters because I have no tolerance for rude teens. (harsh?- don't care) :)
Well yesterday while babysitting 4 kids under the age of 7---I know I am a brave woman. Lucy, 4, told me about how excited she was for kindergarten and how she already knew what teacher she would have. "I'm going to have to same one as Oksanna...(her big sister)...Mrs. Bell." I asked her if she was excited, and she said no because she likes her teachers now and didn't want to leave them ---awh! I know. "Mrs. Bell is brown... Oksanna doesn't like brown people" a short pause. "Hey Oksanna, Miss Porshia is brown you like her right?" and without missing a beat, Oksanna says "Miss Porshia is Mixed, Mixed means tan!!!"
Side note: she know I am mixed because I have my cute little white cousin as my wallpaper on my phone, and I had to explain why I had a white cousin. I couldn't help but chuckle and at the same time be concerned. But it isn't my place to have a deep conversation about race with a 6 year old.
I love that kids have no filters and have the window of opportunity to be completely honest and not get shammed by it. I love that they don't understand that their words can be hurtful, therefore saying things that we need to hear. They prove that they are what we want to be. Children take in what is around them and release what is interpreted. Working with children, I know I am going to have many of 'too good to be made up' moments. I'm okay with being a tad bit offended or overly amused by someone who is 3 times younger than me. Now once they cute kids become pre-teens- make sure they have filters because I have no tolerance for rude teens. (harsh?- don't care) :)
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