2 years and counting...

I debated on whether or not I wanted to write blog post about the day my mom died. It is one of those days that I will never forget. I remember minor details and yet forget some parts as if they never happened. 

2 years ago today my mom ended her fight with cancer. I am living proof that there is life after death. Honestly, the most annoying part is having to tell people that my mom is dead. It is this revolving door of pity and awkward "I'm sorry"'s People think that since my mom is no longer her that they can't talk about their moms in front of me, that yo momma jokes are offensive, and that I sit at home and cry all the time. The fact that you think those things is quite offensive. Yeah it sucks! It sucks ass. But I can't do anything about it. 

 I don't know what else to say. It has become the new norm for me to not have her here.  

 I miss her daily, I slip up and talk about her like she is still here or sometimes for a few minutes of  wander lust forget she even died. I even get angry at her for dying, which I use to feel guilty about it. 

Honestly, I have never not wanted to write. I several soon to be blog post in my notes on my Iphone. but I don't want to write about my moms passing. I miss her and love her and always will. It may get easier, it may get harder only time can tell. but it has been 2 years and counting since my mom passed away. 

"Mixed means tan"

Children are an acquired joy. Some people love children and want to love and inspire the future, while others don't like  these small humans with an under developed frontal lobe and the inability to properly express emotion. I love children! They are adorable, smarter than credited, cunning and hilarious. There was a reason that kids say the darnedest things was a hit show for years. The stuff that child say is too good to be written. Their lack of filter, and high curiosity often makes for memorable conversations. Especially when it comes to racial comments and questions.

I, being mixed in a white society, have had my fair share of brown/black questions and situations. Before I can even remember- my older cousin Liz (one of my favorites) asked my Nana, while rubbing my face, why I was dirty. Precious!  right? 

Fast forward until 2014 and hilarious racial moments from the children I have interacted with over the past few months have become more and more hilarious and more and more mind opening.

A few Sundays ago at church, I went with a friend to her kindergarten Sunday school class. Seeing all the sassy 5 year olds in their casual Sunday best was too cute, but every kid that walked in was white--(which isn't uncommon despite the church being diverse, and open to all in the south black and white churches still exist, and not on the racist level, yet on a tradition and worship level) --Until Daylysia walked in- the cutest little black girl.  She was very social and open from the moment she walked in and it was her first Sunday. --Now it is said that we are attracted to others like us. That's how we pick friends and significant others- we tend to have things in common. But as children looks is what we tend to gravitate too. That's why girls are only friends with girls and boys with boys in early grade school. --So when all of the Sunday school went in the hub (the main room for group youth worship) Daylaysia came to sit right next to me! "Your hair is like my Mommy's" she said as she reached up to touch my natural untamed hair. "Oh is it?" "Mhmmm, she is darker than you though!" Now Daylaysia wasn't this talkative and open to any other Sunday school teacher. I wasn't this child whisper who is super nice and cool, I was the ONLY person who looked like the people she is with daily and trust. Now I'm not saying she doesn't trust white people or that she purposely talked less to the white adults-so don't read into it. It is the same for many children who are afraid to approach someone of the opposite gender and race. It is a whole 'nother concept that their brains cannot understand, so sticking to what they do know is common. ---Mommy is loving, awesome, caring, and white... so in unfamiliar situations that child will most likely go to a white woman rather than a male or a black woman. Again, please do not twist my words and realize that with every child like Daylaysia who feel comfortable and safe with those who look like them. There are the curious kids who wants to talk to everyone who looks different than them. In many pre-k through first grade classes "Whys?" Are asked from one student from another. Why do you have to wear that? Why is your hair like that? Why can't you go swimming? Why do speak funny? Why can't you eat that? Why? Why? Why? The curiosity and intrigue create a desire to be open and honest without being PC. 

A few weeks ago I babysat these 2 little girls, 5 (Ahslynn) and 2 (Kallie),who where white- and the 5 year old wanted 1 thing more than anything in the world. A black baby! Considering both of her parents are white- adoption is going to be the only way she can get a black baby anytime soon or mom has some splainin' to do (mom and dad are starting to foster so her wish may come true). I took them to stake `n shake for dinner and we were set by a black family with a black baby. She couldn't stop staring at the baby. She turns to me and says, " you know I really won't  mind if my family didn't match" good! It is 2014 gosh darn it and matching families are becoming a bit of a thing from the past. But living in the south people are still against it. If this 5 year old can fully be okay with having an unconventional family then why can't everyone else? I found the entire desire to have a black baby to be extremely cute and funny.

Well yesterday while babysitting 4 kids under the age of 7---I know I am a brave woman. Lucy, 4, told me about how excited she was for kindergarten and how she already knew what teacher she would have. "I'm going to have to same one as Oksanna...(her big sister)...Mrs. Bell." I asked her if she was excited, and she said no because she likes her teachers now and didn't want to leave them ---awh! I know. "Mrs. Bell is brown... Oksanna doesn't like brown people" a short pause. "Hey Oksanna, Miss Porshia is brown you like her right?" and without missing a beat, Oksanna says "Miss Porshia is Mixed, Mixed means tan!!!"
Side note: she know I am mixed because I have my cute little white cousin as my wallpaper on my phone, and I had to explain why  I had a white cousin. I couldn't help but chuckle and at the same time be concerned. But it isn't my place to have a deep conversation about race with a 6 year old.

I love that kids have no filters and have the window of opportunity to be completely honest and not get shammed by it. I love that they don't understand that their words can be hurtful, therefore saying things that we need to hear. They prove that they are what we want to be. Children take in what is around them and release what is interpreted. Working with children, I know I am going to have many of  'too good to be made up' moments. I'm okay with being a tad bit offended or overly amused by someone who is 3 times younger than me. Now once they cute kids become pre-teens- make sure they have filters because I have no tolerance for rude teens. (harsh?- don't care) :)

"I'd Like To Thank The Academy"

All 6,000 members of the academy for coming together last night and wrapping up the award season in a memorable night. From the red carpet to the Ellen as Glinda (like Galinda without the Ga) the good witch to the selfie that broke twitter, the 86th annual Academy Awards were a hit!

Let's start with the red carpet! Luckily this go around there weren't many blunders! Lupita Nyong'o kept up her fashionista power by wear a stunning powder blue deep V pleated Prada dress. 

her best accessory of the night? 

Her Oscar of course! Lupita took home her first Oscar for best supporting actress for her role in 12 Years a Slave (Best Motion Picture Winner!) 

Fellow Best Supporting Actress Nominee, Jennifer Lawrence, redeemed her self from the Golden Globes. In a fitting pellum  style red Dior dress! with her signature backwards necklace. 

But in true jlaw fashion, much like Sandra Bullock, couldn't defy gravity...

Lawrence Fell just after getting out of her limo! at least she has an amazing sense of humor and laughed it off! 

Speaking of Sandy B. SHE. LOOKED. FLAWLESS.

Bullock stunned everyone (like always) in this Navy McQueen gown. Sandra's film Gravity took home the most awards (6) for the night, expect for the category Sandra was in, Best leading Actress. Maybe next...she'll be lucky

With that we move on to THE Liza Minelli in a blue satin pant suit? with matching her. granted, this look is uh, well a tad... ugly. Liza can do no wrong. She has hit the age, status and mental state to do what ever she wants and it be acceptable. 

 

Liza was at the Oscars because her late mother, Judy Garlands, film- Wizard of Oz (ring ant bells) was honored

Liza (left) and Mama Judy (right)

with a beautiful rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow sung by P!nk, Who looked as amazing as she sounded. 

In Ellie Saab's 2013 Fall Couture Sparkling Red plunge V gown. 

After Pink sang somewhere over the rainbow in the most simplistic way, which isn't usually how pink does thing, yet she was honoring a film classic not her acrobatic skills--Ellen graced the staged dressed as Glinda the Good Witch (Like GAlinda, without the GA --All you Wicked Fans know what I am talking about.)

Ellen is too perfect... even though her original tux looked like she pulled it right off the rack from Behind the Candelabras costume wrack. 

love you Ellen, but do you know what I love a little more than you... your OSCAR SELFIES! 

look at this! look at HER! Look at THEM! Bradley, Jen, Mrs. Streep, Julia, Leto, The Jolie-Pitts, Channing, Kevin Spacey, Lupita and ...her brother??? yay for Junior but him an dLupita should have switched places.! 

and we can't for get about the Liza Selfie. Gays, lesbians, and Thespians all around the world went hysterical... I know I did. 

Speaking of Gays/Lesbians/Thespians going hysterical... 5. WORDS. BETTE. MIDLER. AND. IDINA MENZEL... or should I say Adele Mezi... way to go John Travolta. First Bette Midler Graced the red carpet in a stunning Reem Arca gown 

then switched to an more appropriate dress to Sing Wind Beneath My Wings for the In Memoriam tribute

Bette Did BETTEr than Idina Menzel. Sorry girl, but you were a tad off... perhaps because she was distracted by John Travolta butchering her name

or every note that Idina--I mean Adele Mezie didn't hit while singing Let It Go, from the hit Disney movie Frozen-- Kristin Chenoweth became happier and happier. probably not, because their 'feud" is faux... I know because they tweeted each other in 2013. 

Even though Menzel's performances wasn't Menzel worthy, all of us theatre people know how phenomenal she can sing, and are letting it go (get it). Frozen won Best Animated Motion Picture and Best Original Song.

The acceptance speech from husband and wife writing duo, Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez   was too cute

MUST WATCH ACCEPTANCE SPEECH!!!

This year at the Oscars had many amazing heartfelt acceptance speeches. From Mathew, Leto and Lupita. they said what they needed to say and made us all have goosebumps and genuinely happy for them.

Mathew Mcconaughey's beautiful speech. ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 

But the best acceptance of all wasn't even words, yet a jump! from 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen 

No more award shows for a while... well at least not many important one. TONY's IN JUNE!!! 

I cannot wait for the movies of 2014 that will make us all stop and think like many of the films nominated this year. 

Here is the full Winning list:

via Google. 

86th Academy Awards winners

Best Picture	12 Years a Slave
Best Actor in a Leading Role	Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Best Actress in a Leading Role	Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role	Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role	Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years a Slave)
Best Animated Feature	Frozen (Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee, Peter Del Vecho)
Best Cinematography	Gravity (Emmanuel Lubezki)
Best Costume Design	The Great Gatsby (Catherine Martin)
Best Directing	Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón)
Best Documentary Feature	20 Feet from Stardom (Morgan Neville, Gil Friesen, Caitrin Rogers)
Best Documentary Short	The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life (Malcolm Clarke, Nicholas Reed)
Best Film Editing	Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón, Mark Sanger)
Best Foreign Language Film	The Great Beauty (Italy)
Best Makeup and Hairstyling	Dallas Buyers Club (Adruitha Lee, Robin Mathews)
Best Original Score	Gravity (Steven Price)
Best Original Song	Let It Go - Frozen
Best Production Design	The Great Gatsby (Catherine Martin, Beverley Dunn)
Best Animated Short Film	Mr. Hublot (Laurent Witz, Alexandre Espigares)
Best Live Action Short Film	Helium (Anders Walter, Kim Magnusson)
Best Sound Editing	Gravity (Glenn Freemantle)
Best Sound Mixing	Gravity (Skip Lievsay, Niv Adiri, Christopher Benstead, Chris Munro)
Best Visual Effects	Gravity (Tim Webber, Chris Lawrence, Dave Shirk, Neil Corbould)
Best Adapted Screenplay	12 Years a Slave (John Ridley)
Best Original Screenplay	Her (Spike Jonze)

And the "winner" is...

Are there actually winners for the Razzies? I mean you are getting an award for writing, directing or staring in a film that was embarrassment to the film industry. With this being the 34th annual Golden Rasberry awards, celebrities have taken the nominations with good graces- well some celebrities...Kim K, isn't too happy about her Razzie! 

Well as the talented actors, directors, writers, composers, producers, and lucky entourage get ready for the Oscars which is 5pm Pacific/8pm eastern, here are the not so lucky ones who "won" a razzie! 

Let's face it- we aren't shocked by any of the "wins" but I have a feeling tonight at the Oscars that we will be shocked by some of the wins or should I say losses. I really don't think Dicaprio will win for leading actor, but we'll see! 

86th annual Oscars!

I have been not been as dedicated to this blog as I have wanted to be. Partly because of pure laziness, and mostly because of school work and actually work when I come home all I do is sleep! But with the 86th Annual Oscars tomorrow--I know, it's March already, woah! I couldn't not post about the biggest night in Hollywood and the last respected award show until June (The Tony's). But before we talk about the best if the best let's talk about the best of the WORST! Yup, I'm talking about the The 34th annual Goldan Rasberry Awards "Razzies"! 

Here are the nominees! 

Worst Picture:
"After Earth" - sci-fi film starring Will Smith and son Jaden Smith
"Grown-Ups 2" - ensemble comedy, starring Adam Sandler, David Spade and Kevin James
"The Lone Ranger" - adventure film starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer
"A Madea Christmas" - comedy starring Tyler Perry
"Movie 43" - ensemble comedy, starring Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman and Emma Stone

Worst Actress in a Leading Role:
Halle Berry - "The Call" and "Movie 43"
Selena Gomez - "Getaway"
Lindsay Lohan - "The Canyons"
Tyler Perry - "A Madea Christmas"
Naomi Watts - "Diana" and "Movie 43"

Worst Actor in a Leading Role:
Johnny Depp - "The Lone Ranger"
Ashton Kutcher - "Jobs"
Adam Sandler - "Grown-Ups 2"
Jaden Smith - "After Earth"
Sylvester Stallone - "Bullet To The Head," "Escape Plan" and "Grudge Match"

Worst Supporting Actress:
Lady Gaga - "Machette Kills"
Salma Hayek - "Grown-Ups 2"
Katherine Heigl - "The Big Wedding"
Kim Kardashian - "Tyler Perry's Temptation"
Lindsay Lohan - "InAPPropriate Comedy" and "Scary Movie 5"

Worst Supporting Actor:
Chris Brown - "Battle Of The Year"
Larry The Cable Guy - "A Madea Christmas"
Taylor Lautner - "Grown-Ups 2"
Will Smith - "After Earth"
Nick Swardson - "A Haunted House" and "Grown-Ups 2"

Worst Screen Combo:
"Grown Ups 2" - the entire cast
"Movie 43" - the entire cast
"Scary Movie 5" - Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen
"A Madea Christmas" - Tyler Perry and EITHER Larry The Cable Guy OR That Worn-Out Wig and Dress
"After Earth" - Jaden Smith and Will Smith on Planet Nepotism

Worst Director:
The 13 people who directed "Movie 43"
Dennis Dugan - "Grown Ups 2"
Tyler Perry - "A Madea Christmas" and "Temptation"
M. Night Shyamalan - "After Earth"
Gore Verbinski - "The Lone Ranger"

Worst Screenplay:
"After Earth" - screenplay by Gary Whitta and M. Night Shyamalan, story by Will Smith
"Grown Ups 2" - written by Fred Wolfe, Adam Sandler and Tim Herlihy
"The Lone Ranger" - story and screenplay by Ted Elliott, Justin Haythe and Terry Rosso
"A Madea Christmas" - written by Tyler Perry
"Movie 43" - written by 19 "screenwriters"

Worst Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel:
"Grown Ups 2"
"Hangover III"
"The Lone Ranger"
"Scary Movie 5"
"Smurfs 2"

I was shocked by The Call...I liked it, but Halle Berry isn't and never was that great of an actress... Let's just say that none of those nominated for  Razzies are attending the oscars with honors! The Razzies are and will be announced on Oscars Eve (today!!!) you can watch online at the Razzies YouTube page! 

Now on to te Oscars! The Acadamey Awards, the most elegant night in Hollywood- where te speeches are shorter and the celebrities are sober! This years host Ellen Degeneres will sure make the night ever most memorable. (I guarantee that by her hosting, more will tune in) I have every nominee in the Oscars tab on the side- so I'm not posting again-too many! 

I'm not sure who will take home an Oscar, the Golden Globes isn't always an indicator of who will take home the Golden statue. I'm rooting for American Hustler; I love the entire cast! I also want Lupita Nyongo' to take an Oscar home, along with Jared Leto! They wild make the most talented mixed babies ever!!! 

With performances from BETT MEDLER! P!nk, U2, Indina Menzel (I worship her!) and other this Oscars is sure going to he one to remember! Eek! Can't wait! T-minus 28 hours!!! (It is not 2pm on 3/1/14). 

But what we all lol forward too is the red carpet! With a different crowd than the Golden Globes and a more formal dress code than the SAGs I cannot wait to see who is wearing who and if some of our favorites can redeem thsemelves (cough cough Julia Roberts). 

Let's hope Lupita can continue to shock us all! 

Lupita first graced the red carpet at the Golden Globes in Ralph Loren... 

She woke up like this....

Then again at the Sag Awards! BOW DOWN BITCHES 

And at the BAFA awards...FLAWLESS 

So at the Oscars can only get better...maybe she will have Leto Drunk in Love by the end of the night...is it racist that I used Beyoncé lyrics for the best dressed black woman in Hollywood? 

ANYWAYS! Jlaw and Julia Roberts need to redeem themselves! 

Look at her stunning face, fierce hair and awful dress! With her looks and personality she needs to a dress that screams JLAW! She did a little better at the SAG awards...but still bored 

Still stunning! My #WCW for life! 

...And Julia, deep breath in and EXHALE! I'm not sure why but she has been all over  the worst dress list this award season! 

The white tshirt-- which probably coast more than my car ruined this dress! 

And this power pink jump suit is just a no. That all I can say is no! 

The red carpet talk begins at 6 on 3/2/14!!! 

I'll be watching the red carpet closely on various channels as I am getting ready for the oscars to begin! 

How will you be spending Oscar Sunday? I'll be eating Chicken Fried rice with my best friend in the most elegant over sized mixed matched sweats!